AUG 30, 2021
In today’s increasingly diverse and interconnected world, how we communicate within our communities and organizations matters more than ever. Microaggressions—those subtle, often unintentional, comments or actions that can marginalize or insult someone based on their identity—are particularly harmful, especially when they target vulnerable groups such as transgender individuals. These moments can create deep social pain, contributing to environments that feel unsafe and unwelcoming. This is why understanding and addressing microaggressions is crucial for fostering inclusive and supportive spaces.
Imagine this scenario pictured above where someone enacts a microaggression against this trans person. The response to this situation is critical. A defensive or dismissive reaction, like this person who is redirecting the attention to the story about their friend—no matter how unintentional—can exacerbate the hurt and create a disconnect between the speaker and the person who has been harmed. The intention might not be malicious, but the impact can be profound, reinforcing feelings of isolation and invalidation for the person experiencing the microaggression.
So, what would have been a better response? How can we, as individuals committed to creating inclusive spaces, learn to respond in ways that facilitate connection and compassion?
It's important to recognize that when we have a different experience than someone else it can be really challenging to know how to relate or respond when someone shares their thoughts and experiences. We are often taught to try to fix their problems, or if we don't know how to do that, we might try to relate their experiences to our own. When someone is open enough to share their thoughts and experiences—particularly those involving chronic social pain like transphobia, racism, or heterosexism—they are not necessarily looking for solutions or for someone to relate their experiences to. Often, what they truly need is to be heard, affirmed, understood, and believed. In the workplace, I will am often testing the waters to see how "out" I can be, and who might be a potential ally.
This is where curiosity and compassion come into play. Curiosity allows us to approach these conversations with an open mind, seeking to understand the other person's experience without judgment. Compassion enables us to respond with empathy, recognizing the pain they are feeling and offering our attention in a way that honors their experience.
As a culture, it is time for us to relearn how to listen deeply to one another, especially when moments of social pain arise.
The collective upheaval of recent years has shown us that arguing, intellectualizing, or dominating conversations does not lead to healing. Instead, we need to cultivate spaces in our schools, workplaces, and community environments where compassion, empathy, and skilled communication are the norms.
This is precisely what we practice in education sessions, such as our "Empathic Communication Across Difference" workshops. At Awakening Creatives, we are dedicated to teaching skills for listening deeply and responding empathically when someone shares a discriminatory or painful experience. We also focus on how to facilitate connection in group settings when conflict arises.
Our compassionate conflict and communication curriculum is grounded in the principles of Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg and Mindful Facilitation by Lee Mun Wah. These tools are designed to help leaders, therapists, healers, DEI professionals, managers, and teachers build stronger, more connected communities during these challenging times.
When we approach our interactions with curiosity and respond with compassion, we create the conditions for genuine understanding and healing. It is through these efforts that we can transform our communities and organizations into places where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.
Want to learn more about techniques for communicating with a trauma-informed and culturally competent lens?
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